Why your EGO is getting in your way {and what your inner critic really wants you to know}

Why your EGO is getting in your way {and what your inner critic really wants you to know}

Lady thinking

Ever get the sense that the Universe is sending you messages, sometimes in seemingly the most peculiar ways?

Perhaps you’ve felt overwhelmed with all of the responsibilities you’re juggling and you happen to drive by a sign that catches your eye with the words “Slow Down” - a message that might feel like it’s referring to your car’s speedometer but applies just as well to the pace of your life.

Or you have a conversation with a friend who mentions a book you must read...and then you stumble across a post mentioning that same book from a Facebook acquaintance...and then that weekend, you just happen to walk past a bookstore with that very book featured behind the glass, prompting you to finally look at it and discover that the words inside were exactly what you needed to hear.


It’s really no surprise that these messages show up the way they do; in my training and experience, I’ve learned that our unconscious speaks most clearly through metaphors, archetypes, and imagery, and as long as we’re not living completely on auto-pilot, our intuition will continue to bring these messages to the forefront of our consciousness to make sure we don’t miss what we really need to see.

This happened to me just the other day when I was rewatching the movie Hook with my husband, and my spidey senses started getting tingly halfway in.


If you aren’t familiar with it, Hook is a retelling of the Peter Pan story that brings Peter back to NeverLand where he can remember who he really is (and despite a meh response from critics, I highly recommend it, as Robin Williams and Dustin Hoffman are both brilliant in it!).


In the story, Tink the fairy is trying to teach Peter Pan how to fly again; it’s as simple as thinking happy thoughts (and a little fairy dust too, of course).


When Peter finally figures it out, Tink shouts “Just hold onto that happy thought, Peter!”


My intuition lit up at this...but perhaps not for the reason you might think.


Yes, I believe in the power of “happy thoughts;” the work that I do ultimately helps my clients rewire the part of their minds that has lost trust in themselves and the Universe so that they can show up more fully and make the impact they came to make. 


Through this process, we definitely play in the realm of happy thoughts and higher vibes, AND...it’s so much more than that.


When we “just hold onto those happy thoughts,” we completely discount the importance of the ego.


Yes, you read that right; I believe the ego is important and serves a greater purpose.


In fact, I believe we cause ourselves more harm than good when we bypass the ego; ego isn’t the villain, but rather, simply misunderstood.


So what is the purpose of the ego and our limiting thoughts and beliefs?

I believe ego exists to SHOW US what is most important to us and the areas of our life that need our attention most.


The conscious mind can only hold about 4 pieces of information at any given time; the rest is relegated to the unconscious for processing. 


So when YOUR unconscious hones in on a specific fear or belief, it has chosen this over the billions of bits of information that could show up for you in any given moment; it is YOURS to see and learn from.


Ultimately, it’s not a matter of demolishing ego, but rather acknowledging it for the job it is meant to do and shifting power back to your creative and intuitive mind.

Here’s what it can look like to stop fighting and start working with your ego to integrate the wisdom it has to share:


  1. When you notice a limiting belief or fear-based thought gets caught on a loop in your mind, first simply acknowledge it without identifying with it. You can do this by saying or writing “I’m thinking the thought _____________________” (using the phrase “I’m thinking the thought” already begins to defuse the charge and shift your perspective).

  2. Then ask yourself “is this thought still true? is it helpful?” More than likely, it is based on an old belief system that you learned long ago; perhaps it was a belief system that actually HELPED you in some way, but it is one that is no longer true nor supportive of who you believe yourself to be and who you are becoming.

  3. Put on mega-watt goggles of compassion and forgive yourself for holding onto energy that isn’t your truth anymore...and if you’re ready to take it deeper, forgive those who helped create that old fear/belief in the first place.

  4. With that energy flowing into those spaces, invite in your intuition to align you with the belief that is true and supportive with who you are now, in this moment.

Finally, fill yourself with gratitude - both to your ego for showing you what’s ready to shift and to your intuition for showing you how.

No matter how far along on our journey we are, our egos will always be with us until the moment we take our last breath.


But it doesn’t have to be something that we judge or avoid…when we start to see its appearances as something to look forward to, as a sign that we’ve expanded into something more, then everything begins to fall into a higher perspective. 


Lady with finger over mouth

And when you have a higher perspective, of both the light AND the shadow, then truly anything is possible.


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